Avoke · Resolutions? Out. Breaking Negative Habits? In.

Hello 2024. We’re so happy to see you!

We’ve arrived once more at resolutions season. Aka, this is the year we will lose weight, start a new hobby, or save $10,000.

You’ve likely heard by now that it’s hard for New Year’s Resolutions to stick. Why?

Because it takes a lot of hard work to re-route the neural pathways in our brains. Years of habit have created a familiar path for you to follow, just like a trail in the woods. It takes time for the old trail to disappear as you continue to work on creating a new one.

So this year, in lieu of traditional New Year Resolutions (*yawn*), we encourage you to try a different practice – an “In & Out” list. Examine your daily habits and decide what stays (In) and what goes (Out). Keep it simple. If the habit contributes to your overall health and happiness, it’s ‘In’. Conversely, if it doesn’t serve you, it’s ‘Out’.

Now, let’s focus on the “Outs”. Your list might include anything from biting your nails, scrolling on social media for too long, or staying up too late — to quitting smoking, negative self talk, or procrastinating. We advise focusing on one “Out” at a time – perhaps one a month – to keep the exercise manageable.

You’ve taken the first step by identifying the negative habit. But now, how do we break them for good?

Breaking negative habits feels challenging because it is challenging! Our brains are creatures of habit; they like to revert back to what is most comfortable – aka our habitual “trails” through the woods – in order to avoid discomfort. In other words, it takes more work to break a negative habit and rewire the neural pathways in our brain than it does to simply create a new habit. But… it can be done.

Here are a few tips to get you started:

In order to be most successful, focus on one “Out” at a time.
Articulate your “why.” Why do you want to stop this negative behavior?
Identify what is happening – externally and internally – when you engage in the behavior.
1. Perhaps you missed a deadline at work or are feeling like you’re never ‘good enough’ in your personal relationships.
2. Perhaps a certain person, thought, or situation triggers the negative habit. (i.e., a cigarette after eating).
3. Take a closer look at what triggers your habit in the first place so you can notice it happening.
Make the habit inconvenient. A habit becomes a routine part of our lives so shake things up! This requires some effort to rearrange the normal flow of your day.
1. Remove the temptation to reach for your phone by placing it in the other room.
2. Shut down all electronics and distractions by 9 pm for a more successful bedtime routine.
Consider an accountability partner. Confide in a friend so they can help support you in your choices, someone you can call when tempted to put off your to-do list or reach for a cigarette. Perhaps you can support them too as they work toward breaking a negative habit of their own.
Shift your attention to building a new, more positive habit to replace the old one. This happens one moment at a time. Remember: Creating and building new neural pathways is easier than breaking the old ones so – moment to moment – keep leaning into your intention to build a new habit. Try these:
1. Perhaps every time your inner critic begins with negative thoughts, instead you repeat three positive affirmations.
2. Or instead of mindlessly scrolling on your phone, you read 20 pages of that novel you’ve had sitting on your desk for months.
Show yourself grace. Changing negative habits takes time – you’re literally rewriting your brain! If you find yourself slipping back into the habit, don’t beat yourself up. In fact, simply catching yourself in the habit is success in itself! You’re now aware of the habit taking place and you can begin to catch it sooner each time. Take a deep breath, remind yourself of your ‘why’ and consider changing the scenery, even if it’s just stepping outside for a few minutes.